Examentrainers

St Trinian's - school can be a riot!

		MIKE JACKSON RECALLS DAYS - AND				peace of mind, my time running the
		NIGHTS - WHEN HE HIMSELF WAS IN				boarding house coincided with the
		CHARGE OF A BOARDING HOUSE1) OF				craze for slit skirts, which looked a
		YOUNG SHE-DEVILS.				normal length but were open up on one
						side. A girl could seem perfectly neat
1		The new St Trinian’s movie brings				but, once out of sight of authority, with
		back memories of two traumatic years				one quick hitch she would suddenly
		when I was in charge of a boarding				transform herself into a Britney Spears
		house of 30 teenage girls. They				look-alike.
		tormented me with constant rows,		4		The next task was to stop them
		escape attempts, smoking in the				smoking in the lavatories and showers.
		lavatories, alcoholic dazes, flooded				This sounds easy enough, but trying to
		bathrooms and out-all-hours				catch them in the act meant hiding
		excursions.				outside the lavatories, which was
2		When I took the job in 1965, it				highly embarrassing. I was surprised
		looked like a piece of cake. I had run a				how shamelessly they would lie to me
		boys’ boarding house before and girls				too. Teenage boys, caught smoking,
		were supposed to be sweet, charming				will come clean. Teenage girls, even
		and much more persuadable. My wife				while stinking of cigarette smoke, tend
		looked at me knowingly: “Just you wait				to bat their eyelids and deny
		and see.” And I swiftly discovered that				everything.
		real teenage girls were even more		5		Security was my top priority. The
		alarming than the girls in the movie				windows would only open a mere three
		St Trinian’s. The first hurdle I faced				inches to stop anyone getting out (or
		was trying to get them in at 10pm. It				in) and the doors were set with alarms
		seemed a simple instruction but each				overnight. From time to time I got up to
		night there would be a row. “It’s only				check that all was well. One night,
		two minutes past. Your watch must be				I spotted a girl dangling dangerously
		fast, sir.” These rows were all the more				from an upstairs window, about to drop
		embarrassing because they usually				down 15 feet and drive off with her
		took place in front of their boyfriends				waiting boyfriend. I was horrified. From
		who, having walked them home, would				then on, my vague suspicions turned
		be listening to every word with				into full-blown nightmares about
		amusement. As if that wasn’t bad				alarms going off and girls escaping.
		enough, I often needed the skill of a		6		The more rebellious teenage girls
		diplomat, coughing tactfully to catch				enjoyed giving any male the runaround.
		the attention of latecomers still				Pretty soon, I began to feel
		engrossed in each other on the				like poor old Alastair Sim in his role as
		doorstep.				the original St Trinian’s headmistress.
3		There was also the issue of trying				Sniggers and knowing looks would
		to control the way they [id:70869] , so that				follow me wherever I went. Once I was
		they looked smart for school. There				embarrassed to overhear one girl
		was no set uniform, but they were				telling another it was ‘such fun’ giving
		supposed to wear ‘sensible’ clothes,				me a ‘tough time’. No wonder this new
		with skirts that were not too short.				film has brought me out in a cold
		Naturally they wanted to bend the rules				sweat. It reminds me of my stormy
		as much as possible. Sadly for my				times at a true-life St Trinian’s.

noot 1  boarding house = kostschool / een huis, waar jongens of meisjes onder toezicht wonen