| 1 | 1 | | You used to know where you were with families - mum, dad, a couple of kids, the |
| 2 | | occasional granny, and a cat that knew its place. From time to time you met someone who |
| 3 | | was brought up by - gasp - a stepmother, and every now and then somebody's father was |
| 4 | | seen frying an egg. [id:74985] on the whole it was pretty predictable; 'he' had a job, 'she' |
| 5 | | was at home - and everyone thought that was the way it would always be. |
| 2 | 6 | | They were wrong. Family roles are shifting. According to a study recently carried out |
| 7 | | among 1,000 British men and women, 'the traditional housewife is [id:74986]'. Half of all |
| 8 | | British couples have developed a completely new model of family life. And the figure is |
| 9 | | growing. |
| 3 | 10 | | In developing a New Family, the woman is usually the prime motivator. So how does |
| 11 | | she do it? She negotiates - with a new-found confidence brought about by her financial |
| 12 | | position. It seems that if she earns at least 60 per cent as much as her partner, she feels that |
| 13 | | she [id:74987] |
| 4 | 14 | | Getting the family to operate in a new way is often a gradual process. First the |
| 15 | | woman [id:74988] trying to control the family and home by herself. As one woman |
| 16 | | explains: 'You can't be Superwoman, running the home and having an outdoor job.' Then |
| 17 | | she becomes less [id:74989],often taking a conscious decision not to mind if household |
| 18 | | chores aren't done quite up to her old standard. 'If my children don't make their bed, they |
| 19 | | have to climb in it with all the rubbish piled on top of it,' says one working mother. In the |
| 20 | | New Family, a significant contribution is asked from the children. |
| 5 | 21 | | The [id:74990] of all this communal activity is that the New Family is typically more |
| 22 | | adventurous and more flexible than the old one. And with everyone more knowledgeable |
| 23 | | about running the home, the family is better able to take care of itself. 'When my mother |
| 24 | | was ill she was always having to get up before she was properly well to care for my father,' |
| 25 | | remembers Thérèse, a civil servant. 'But when I'm [id:74991] I can really take it easy. My |
| 26 | | husband looks after both of us.' |
| 6 | 27 | | In inventing the New Family, the parents [id:74992] what it means to be a wife and a |
| 28 | | husband, and what it means to be a woman or a man. The men are still masculine but have |
| 29 | | gained greater emotional openness. Women are still feminine and will respond positively |
| 30 | | to images of traditional femininity, but they have also learnt how to be more assertive and |
| 31 | | express their needs more directly. There is greater mutual respect and happiness. |
| 7 | 32 | | For a family to succeed as a New Family there is often a kind of pain-threshold to be |
| 33 | | crossed. Some women simply [id:74993] (one had to let the houseplants, for which her |
| 34 | | partner had sworn he'd be responsible, die). Others have to stop themselves [id:74994] |
| 35 | | their partner's efforts. 'To succeed you must allow each other to make mistakes,' says Paul, |
| 36 | | an accountant. |
| 8 | 37 | | Forty years ago, when women were trapped in the home and men were trapped in |
| 38 | | the workplace, people referred to the relationship between them as 'the battle of the |
| 39 | | sexes'. At that time, American novelist Pearl S. Buck saw it was necessary to [id:74995] the |
| 40 | | family. She wrote that there was only one way forward: 'If woman is to recapture the lost |
| 41 | | companionship with man and child, she must follow them into the world.' |
