| 1 | 1 | | Exercise has never been my strong point. At school I was the one having a quick |
| 2 | | Mars bar behind the back of the bike sheds while everyone else was pretending to be |
| 3 | | some famous sportswoman. So it came as no real surprise that when I found myself |
| 4 | | halfway up a cliff face with two ex-members of the Special Air Service (SAS), I got what |
| 5 | | can only be described as the shakes of all time. |
| 2 | 6 | | There I was, roped to Lofty Wiseman and Paul Brown - 25 years of experience |
| 7 | | apiece in the toughest army regiment known to Her Majesty - , frozen to the spot like a |
| 8 | | spider on the ceiling when the lights suddenly go on. 'Do you ever get the urge to throw |
| 9 | | yourself off?' I stuttered to Paul, who was nonchalantly leaning on one elbow. 'No, Sue, |
| 10 | | I don't, And I wouldn't advise you to, you'll give yourself a nasty headache,' he grinned. |
| 11 | | And th at was just the start... |
| 3 | 12 | | Lofty and Paul look rather like Laurel and Hardy. Lofty's over 1.90m and he never |
| 13 | | stops talking. Paul is shorter and chews over every sentence six times before he speaks. |
| 14 | | But together the two men make a formidable team running courses for 'townies' like me |
| 15 | | at their School For Survival. |
| 4 | 16 | | 'We both left the regiment on 1st October and thought the school would be a great |
| 17 | | way to make a living , showing people some of the basic survival skilIs we'd taught |
| 18 | | ourselves and others in the army,' said Lofty . |
| 5 | 19 | | 'You can teach anyone to survive anywhere,' continued Lofty, 'provided you instill |
| 20 | | confidence into them. We've had grandmothers on these courses and they've coped as |
| 21 | | well as younger people. In fact , I think women are better survivors than men anyway. |
| 22 | | Not only have the y got more body fat that they can use , but they aren't conditioned into |
| 23 | | having everything done for them, like men are .' |
| 6 | 24 | | Both Lofty and Paul regard the school as 'one long holiday' compared to life in the |
| 25 | | SAS. But the y also seem to understand fear and never force anyone into doing anything. |
| 26 | | When I panicked on the cliff they didn't so much as hint that the y thought I might be a |
| 27 | | bit of a coward. |
| 7 | 28 | | My limits had already been demonstrated on the cliff face but there was still the |
| 29 | | river crossing to be done. I waded in and struggled across. When I finally emerged on the |
| 30 | | other side, exhausted and frozen, I was dragged off for a bit of navigation training. As I |
| 31 | | stood at his side, feeling totally out of it all, Lofty tried to teach me how to teil where I |
| 32 | | was by studying the stars. I snapped out something about asking a policeman, and it |
| 33 | | gradually dawned on everyone that I might seriously require a stiff drink. So the boys |
| 34 | | took me to the local pub, where Lofty poured several pints of a strong beer called |
| 35 | | Maiden Over into me. In no time at all the colour was back in my cheeks. |
| 8 | 36 | | I awoke the next morning in a small hole in the ground somewhere in the |
| 37 | | countryside. I have never felt so bad and filthy in my entire life . 'We thought you might |
| 38 | | like to try being suspended by rope over a ravine this morning, Sue,' Lofty suggested. I |
| 39 | | made my excuses, rolled up my bed, put on my boots and left. |
| 9 | 40 | | But if ever disaster hits , I shall have all the skills for survival at my fingertips . In |
| 41 | | fact, what I shall do is head for the nearest barrel of Maiden Over. |
